What children say
Things kids have said
It’s about the kids too, they have thoughts and memories of what they experience
You (visit your family) and everyone’s having a conversation and you don’t know what they’re talking about. I wasn’t there for it. I can’t share the same memories to an extent, growing up and stuff.
“Our dad was in and out of jail… sometimes he wouldn’t show up on purpose, like he’d let us know, but it was more for our safety… It was usually because of drugs, but that was positive because he’s thinking of us… He’s thinking of our safety, and he didn’t want us to see him like that.”
As kids, what we enjoyed most was our parents playing with us… Little things like playing a game of cricket or soccer.”
What makes it easier for kids?
Being truthful right from the start
Sitting down with children and explaining it to them (information and explanations should be appropriate to their age)
Foster carers being open-minded as well, and maybe not judge too quickly…especially if that’s what parents are afraid of - that they’ll be judged. It’ll be harder for them to have a relationship with their kids.
“I think it’s more about making sure the child is comfortable in those settings and just check in with them… It’s a good feeling to be heard though.”
Our (carers) were a bit hesitant at first, but once they got to know our birth family, working out what they’re like, it went from there… For our foster mum, it became easier when she realised our family were just as curious about her, and wanting to get to know who is looking after their kids.
“We haven’t seen (Dad) since last Christmas… It is kinda (hard), I mean, the time we texted him on father’s day… Yeah it hurts… Something as simple as message (is all it takes).”
“Our birth family shows us our identity, like knowing where you came from… ”
